I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
