brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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