dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
