he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You need Xanax blowdarts
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
