I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
