super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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