question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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