nut hugger
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
