I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
