Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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