Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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