Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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