when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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