Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
