drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
