i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
