We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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