I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
