Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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