My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Be still, my beating vagina.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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