i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
