The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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