3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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