therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
