I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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