You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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