Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
