plz talk dirty to me
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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