i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
