SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
