We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
