Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
