your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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