oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
