no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
