I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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