I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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