eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
