his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
tell me about the eggs
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
