Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
