Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
