hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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