I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i think my mom watched the whole time
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
