she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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