I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
