think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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