Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
