Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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