I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
