I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
