He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
