Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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