Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
