It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
